1 00:00:00,039 --> 00:00:01,188 PHIL: Hey, Jay. 2 00:00:01,213 --> 00:00:02,477 - Oh! - Welcome! 3 00:00:02,508 --> 00:00:04,171 New Year's Day at Jay's. 4 00:00:04,242 --> 00:00:05,928 My dad was driving in. 5 00:00:05,953 --> 00:00:08,019 Things were looking up after a bad morning. 6 00:00:08,089 --> 00:00:09,221 [passengers scream] 7 00:00:09,290 --> 00:00:12,257 - Oh! Yeah! - Oh, man! 8 00:00:12,282 --> 00:00:14,718 [gasps] Look how high it goes! 9 00:00:14,743 --> 00:00:17,261 I'm gonna try and spit on a bird. 10 00:00:17,286 --> 00:00:18,421 [whining] 11 00:00:18,446 --> 00:00:20,280 Did he just get off the ride? 12 00:00:22,234 --> 00:00:25,295 You know, honey, um, I'm getting cold feet. 13 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:26,906 - Maybe we should just... - Well, if you're scared, 14 00:00:26,931 --> 00:00:28,046 - we should just go. - [whining continues] 15 00:00:28,071 --> 00:00:30,460 I'm disappointed, 'cause to me, it seemed like a blast. 16 00:00:30,485 --> 00:00:32,203 - [passengers scream] - Oh! 17 00:00:32,268 --> 00:00:34,226 My resolution to live more dangerously 18 00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:36,069 was off to a rocky start. 19 00:00:36,094 --> 00:00:37,927 Help yourself to my Christmas present. 20 00:00:37,952 --> 00:00:40,386 Nothing like a frozen margarita in a hot tub. 21 00:00:40,455 --> 00:00:43,086 Lets nature know we can do anything she can. 22 00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:44,516 Well, I'll take one to go. 23 00:00:44,524 --> 00:00:46,557 Alex and I are just here to raid your guys' closet 24 00:00:46,625 --> 00:00:47,825 for some vintage clothing. 25 00:00:47,893 --> 00:00:50,428 Yeah, we're going to a '90s music festival called Fo-shizzle-fest. 26 00:00:50,496 --> 00:00:53,491 Okay, get ready to pig out! 27 00:00:53,516 --> 00:00:55,366 In six to eight hours. [sighs] 28 00:00:55,435 --> 00:00:57,134 I did Thanksgiving dinner last year, 29 00:00:57,203 --> 00:00:58,535 and it didn't go well. 30 00:00:58,604 --> 00:01:00,069 Cam blew up the turkey 31 00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,366 and made the goat kill itself. 32 00:01:01,391 --> 00:01:03,186 Anyhoo, today is my comeback meal, 33 00:01:03,211 --> 00:01:05,506 and I decided to keep it simple and roast a pig. 34 00:01:05,531 --> 00:01:07,043 So, you just dig a hole, 35 00:01:07,112 --> 00:01:09,694 you put down a bed of coals, then a layer of banana leaves, 36 00:01:09,719 --> 00:01:12,100 lower the pig, cover it with burlap and tin foil, 37 00:01:12,125 --> 00:01:13,381 and... bam! 38 00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:15,233 Six hours later, you dig it all up, 39 00:01:15,258 --> 00:01:17,140 put it on a platter, and... bam! 40 00:01:17,165 --> 00:01:18,559 Dinner is served. 41 00:01:18,584 --> 00:01:19,817 GLORIA: Guys, 42 00:01:19,842 --> 00:01:22,524 just because you spent Christmas in Missouri 43 00:01:22,593 --> 00:01:24,121 doesn't mean that we forgot about you. 44 00:01:24,146 --> 00:01:26,862 - Open your presents. - Oh, okay! I'll go first. 45 00:01:26,930 --> 00:01:29,331 Uh, let's see. 46 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,766 Oh, it's a gift certificate for E-Butler. 47 00:01:31,835 --> 00:01:33,469 It's a concierge service. 48 00:01:33,537 --> 00:01:35,804 Use it for errands, tickets, things like that. 49 00:01:35,873 --> 00:01:36,837 Oh my God. I love this! 50 00:01:36,862 --> 00:01:37,998 It's like staying in a hotel, 51 00:01:38,023 --> 00:01:39,895 but I don't have to wear gloves to use the remote. 52 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,686 CAMERON: Okay, me next. Me next. 53 00:01:41,711 --> 00:01:43,115 Oh... 54 00:01:43,389 --> 00:01:45,646 it's an apron with... with bells on it. 55 00:01:45,715 --> 00:01:48,016 And it says, "Cam and get it!" 56 00:01:48,084 --> 00:01:49,450 Oh, so that's not a mistake? 57 00:01:49,519 --> 00:01:51,852 We spent extra cash to get that custom made. 58 00:01:51,921 --> 00:01:52,953 Came to me in a dream. 59 00:01:52,978 --> 00:01:53,990 PHIL: Put it on, buddy. 60 00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:56,552 Let's, uh... let's get pictures with you guys and your gifts. 61 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,207 Jay and Gloria, get in there too. 62 00:01:58,232 --> 00:01:59,662 Come on, honey. Let's go. 63 00:02:00,022 --> 00:02:01,303 - Oh, boy. - I'll tie it. 64 00:02:01,366 --> 00:02:02,693 - No, you won't. - All right. 65 00:02:05,556 --> 00:02:06,975 - Whoa! - Oh! 66 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,680 [electricity crackles] 67 00:02:08,705 --> 00:02:11,185 I told you Stella was trying to kill me! 68 00:02:11,210 --> 00:02:15,178 ♪ ♪ 69 00:02:19,489 --> 00:02:23,630 Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.addic7ed.com 70 00:02:25,403 --> 00:02:27,368 - Well, that was a scare. - Nothing happened. 71 00:02:27,437 --> 00:02:28,803 I know where you're going with this. 72 00:02:28,871 --> 00:02:30,370 This is why I've been hounding you 73 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:31,472 about your estate planning. 74 00:02:31,541 --> 00:02:35,479 No, Mitch. Don't put that horrible thing out in the universe! 75 00:02:35,504 --> 00:02:36,470 [spits] 76 00:02:36,498 --> 00:02:37,698 [exhales forcefully] 77 00:02:37,723 --> 00:02:38,979 Dad, you still haven't done that? 78 00:02:39,048 --> 00:02:41,268 They haven't updated their paperwork since Joe was born. 79 00:02:41,293 --> 00:02:44,151 Uh, God forbid something bad should happen to them... 80 00:02:44,176 --> 00:02:45,832 we don't even know who'd they want to raise Joe. 81 00:02:45,857 --> 00:02:47,320 Shh! 82 00:02:47,388 --> 00:02:48,455 [spits] 83 00:02:48,523 --> 00:02:50,363 Will you stop scaring her? 84 00:02:50,424 --> 00:02:52,229 I spend more money on eyelashes 85 00:02:52,254 --> 00:02:53,737 than most of you do on health care. 86 00:02:53,762 --> 00:02:54,828 Fine, we'll do it today. 87 00:02:54,896 --> 00:02:56,463 What better way to start the new year 88 00:02:56,531 --> 00:02:58,164 than by preparing for the worst? 89 00:02:58,232 --> 00:03:00,330 - [RV horn honks] - Speaking of alive dads, 90 00:03:00,355 --> 00:03:02,468 - there's mine! - Oh! 91 00:03:02,536 --> 00:03:03,869 - So good to see you! - Oh! 92 00:03:03,938 --> 00:03:05,119 How was the drive? 93 00:03:05,144 --> 00:03:06,262 Fantastic. 94 00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:08,612 - My radio broke around Tallahassee. - Aw. 95 00:03:08,637 --> 00:03:10,635 But is there a better entertainment source 96 00:03:10,660 --> 00:03:12,377 than the billboards of America? 97 00:03:12,446 --> 00:03:14,760 Apparently, syphilis is making a comeback. 98 00:03:14,785 --> 00:03:17,543 Plus, you had me to keep you company. 99 00:03:17,894 --> 00:03:19,601 Lorraine? 100 00:03:19,918 --> 00:03:21,919 Lorraine was my babysitter growing up. 101 00:03:21,944 --> 00:03:23,454 She was also my first crush 102 00:03:23,523 --> 00:03:27,449 and also the star of my first, um... 103 00:03:28,176 --> 00:03:29,537 "funny dream." 104 00:03:29,562 --> 00:03:31,428 Yeah, Lorraine used to bring out 105 00:03:31,498 --> 00:03:33,635 - the holy terror in Phil. - Oh. 106 00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:35,432 It seemed like he wanted to be spanked by her. 107 00:03:35,457 --> 00:03:36,862 - No, I did not. - [chuckles] 108 00:03:36,887 --> 00:03:39,276 How long has this been going on? 109 00:03:39,301 --> 00:03:42,127 Well, we reconnected earlier this year on jury duty. 110 00:03:42,152 --> 00:03:43,254 I was the lone holdout 111 00:03:43,279 --> 00:03:45,330 - on a triple homicide case. - Mm. 112 00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:46,536 You can just feel 113 00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:48,752 - when someone is innocent, you know? - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 114 00:03:48,777 --> 00:03:51,940 But Lorraine said she'd go out to lunch with me if I changed my vote, 115 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,473 so here we are. 116 00:03:53,543 --> 00:03:55,729 - Phil, did... did you ever dream... - No. 117 00:03:55,754 --> 00:03:58,666 Last time I saw you, you came up to here. [laughs] 118 00:03:58,691 --> 00:04:00,995 Okay, Claire will take you that way to the back yard. 119 00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:03,730 I'll go through the house so we can finally know which way's faster. 120 00:04:03,957 --> 00:04:05,957 Okay, just a few simple questions, 121 00:04:05,982 --> 00:04:07,736 and your estate planning is done. 122 00:04:07,761 --> 00:04:08,996 What is this? 123 00:04:09,021 --> 00:04:11,010 We don't need to put aside money for Manny's college. 124 00:04:11,035 --> 00:04:12,629 I already took care of it. 125 00:04:12,683 --> 00:04:15,324 When Manny was born, I didn't want to rely on anyone, 126 00:04:15,349 --> 00:04:17,121 so I started saving money from my paycheck. 127 00:04:17,146 --> 00:04:19,262 Eventually, I made enough money for Manny's college, 128 00:04:19,287 --> 00:04:21,379 so if anything happens, he'll be okay. 129 00:04:21,403 --> 00:04:22,736 - That's amazing. - [chuckles] 130 00:04:22,761 --> 00:04:24,860 How did I not see this in the bank statements? 131 00:04:24,885 --> 00:04:26,651 Why would I put money that I might need 132 00:04:26,676 --> 00:04:28,475 to run away with in the middle of night 133 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:29,732 in the bank? 134 00:04:29,757 --> 00:04:31,257 I put it in my disappear bag. 135 00:04:31,282 --> 00:04:33,482 It's hard not to take that personally, but, um, 136 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:34,672 where is this bag? 137 00:04:34,697 --> 00:04:37,431 It's in... in... 138 00:04:37,456 --> 00:04:39,004 - You forgot? - No. 139 00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,254 That's why I made a song 140 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:42,676 so that it would always help me remember. 141 00:04:42,809 --> 00:04:46,058 ♪ My disappear bag, my disappear bag ♪ 142 00:04:46,083 --> 00:04:48,784 ♪ I hid you very safely in the ♪ 143 00:04:49,152 --> 00:04:51,004 - I don't know. - [bells jingle] 144 00:04:51,372 --> 00:04:52,671 One second. 145 00:04:52,696 --> 00:04:54,563 Okay, Cam, what are we... 146 00:04:54,605 --> 00:04:56,317 Okay. Just... just be cool. Just be cool. 147 00:04:56,342 --> 00:04:59,359 Be cool? You just jangled across the yard like a big country tambourine. 148 00:04:59,384 --> 00:05:01,691 All right, well, apparently, the fire went out and I didn't notice, 149 00:05:01,723 --> 00:05:04,143 and now this pig is as cold as your family is gonna be 150 00:05:04,168 --> 00:05:05,691 when they figure out I ruined another meal. 151 00:05:05,716 --> 00:05:06,738 Okay, this is bad. 152 00:05:06,763 --> 00:05:08,763 My dad does not like to be pork teased. 153 00:05:08,788 --> 00:05:10,690 Well, maybe we can get a replacement pig. 154 00:05:10,723 --> 00:05:12,612 Do you think your concierge thing could help out? 155 00:05:12,637 --> 00:05:13,850 But I just got it today, 156 00:05:13,919 --> 00:05:15,717 and... and the card says, "For Mitch stuff." 157 00:05:15,742 --> 00:05:17,012 Mitchell, one of my resolutions 158 00:05:17,037 --> 00:05:18,602 - was to cry less outside the home. - [sighs] 159 00:05:18,627 --> 00:05:20,613 - Please help me get through this day. - Gosh. 160 00:05:20,638 --> 00:05:22,769 You know they only got me six hours, right? 161 00:05:22,794 --> 00:05:23,949 I know. Thank you. 162 00:05:23,974 --> 00:05:24,896 - Okay. - [line rings] 163 00:05:24,921 --> 00:05:26,551 CONCIERGE: Thank you for calling E-Butler, Mr. Pritchett. 164 00:05:26,575 --> 00:05:28,508 How may I make your day more E-fficient? 165 00:05:28,577 --> 00:05:30,699 Okay, um, well, this is a weird request. 166 00:05:30,724 --> 00:05:34,823 Keep in mind, erotic tasks are billed at twice the normal rate. 167 00:05:34,848 --> 00:05:38,582 Uh, no, I-I need you to secretly deliver a whole roasted pig. 168 00:05:38,607 --> 00:05:40,074 With extreme pleasure. 169 00:05:40,099 --> 00:05:42,832 Requests like these remind me why I E-buttle. 170 00:05:42,857 --> 00:05:44,089 CAMERON: I knew that voice. 171 00:05:44,114 --> 00:05:45,146 It was Keifth. 172 00:05:45,393 --> 00:05:46,592 When I first moved here, 173 00:05:46,661 --> 00:05:48,410 I was just a young Missouri hayseed. 174 00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,394 I-I bought a ticket to the circus one day, 175 00:05:50,419 --> 00:05:52,566 and there in the middle of all the action, 176 00:05:52,591 --> 00:05:56,092 in an impeccably pressed tuxedo, was Ringmaster Keifth. 177 00:05:56,162 --> 00:05:58,963 I started hanging out at circus bars until we met. 178 00:05:58,988 --> 00:06:00,543 The attraction was immediate. 179 00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:02,996 He was older, always in command of a room, 180 00:06:03,021 --> 00:06:05,888 which makes sense because a room is just a permanent tent. 181 00:06:06,161 --> 00:06:07,510 We dated for six months. 182 00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:08,819 He transformed me 183 00:06:08,844 --> 00:06:11,241 into the sophisticate that we all know today. 184 00:06:11,966 --> 00:06:15,435 And then, he suddenly disappeared. 185 00:06:15,856 --> 00:06:18,402 No goodbye. No note. 186 00:06:18,605 --> 00:06:21,198 Just some peanut shells on the floor that must have... 187 00:06:21,223 --> 00:06:23,442 fallen from his glorious black boot. 188 00:06:23,511 --> 00:06:26,043 I found a trattoria in Little Polynesia 189 00:06:26,068 --> 00:06:28,257 - that can spare a fully roasted pig. - Mitchell. 190 00:06:28,282 --> 00:06:29,379 Sorry for the delay. 191 00:06:29,404 --> 00:06:30,707 It w... it was a minute and a half. 192 00:06:30,732 --> 00:06:31,691 You can't know my shame. 193 00:06:31,716 --> 00:06:33,887 I'll deliver the porcine parcel within the hour. 194 00:06:33,912 --> 00:06:36,432 Okay, that... that is great. I will... I will see you then. 195 00:06:36,457 --> 00:06:37,519 - [cellphone beeps] - What is wrong with you? 196 00:06:37,544 --> 00:06:38,590 Okay, my circus boyfriend 197 00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:39,559 who left me in the middle of the night... 198 00:06:39,584 --> 00:06:40,622 that was him. 199 00:06:40,647 --> 00:06:42,414 And now he's coming here?! 200 00:06:42,439 --> 00:06:44,472 This is no way to ring in a new year. 201 00:06:44,497 --> 00:06:46,160 [bells jingle] 202 00:06:48,661 --> 00:06:49,996 The money has to be here somewhere. 203 00:06:50,021 --> 00:06:53,556 This is all the stuff from when we first moved in together. 204 00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:55,848 Why do we have a box of doll heads? 205 00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:57,616 Oh, I guess you think it's a coincidence 206 00:06:57,641 --> 00:06:59,965 that we have never had evil spirits in this house. 207 00:06:59,990 --> 00:07:01,340 What about these will questions? 208 00:07:01,365 --> 00:07:03,965 If something happens to us, who should raise Joe? 209 00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:05,389 No, Jay, don't say that. 210 00:07:05,414 --> 00:07:06,747 All right, look. 211 00:07:06,772 --> 00:07:10,373 If someone other than us needs to raise Joe, 212 00:07:10,398 --> 00:07:11,730 I vote Mitch and Cam. 213 00:07:11,755 --> 00:07:13,187 Nice balance. 214 00:07:13,212 --> 00:07:15,811 Mitch is, uh, responsible, he knows culture, 215 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:19,082 and Cam is basically a mom who played college football. 216 00:07:19,278 --> 00:07:22,413 Plus, Joe and Lily are close in age. 217 00:07:22,438 --> 00:07:24,371 Yeah, but isn't she a little... 218 00:07:24,395 --> 00:07:26,128 Direct? You're not wrong. 219 00:07:26,153 --> 00:07:28,420 She did five minutes on my nose at Thanksgiving. 220 00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:29,889 I mean, it's a little big, 221 00:07:29,957 --> 00:07:32,215 but to say that it has its own zip code, 222 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:33,673 that was too much for me. 223 00:07:33,922 --> 00:07:35,996 - What's this? - No, that is... 224 00:07:36,683 --> 00:07:38,863 "If I ever go missing or am found dead, 225 00:07:38,888 --> 00:07:40,087 "it was my husband"? 226 00:07:40,188 --> 00:07:41,324 What the hell is this?! 227 00:07:41,349 --> 00:07:42,649 Ay! Calm down. 228 00:07:42,674 --> 00:07:44,741 It was when we had our first big fight. 229 00:07:44,766 --> 00:07:47,367 Of course I knew that you were not going to kill me. 230 00:07:47,392 --> 00:07:49,973 I was just going to run away and frame you. 231 00:07:51,213 --> 00:07:54,926 Is it weird we've barely seen Phil since we've been here? 232 00:07:54,973 --> 00:07:56,139 He was always a wanderer. 233 00:07:56,164 --> 00:07:57,824 It's the curse of being a genius. 234 00:07:57,849 --> 00:07:59,782 Oh. [laughs] 235 00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:06,113 - Phil. - Trinidad and Tobago! 236 00:08:06,138 --> 00:08:07,270 Why are you avoiding Frank? 237 00:08:07,295 --> 00:08:08,699 What? [scoffs] 238 00:08:08,724 --> 00:08:09,910 I'm... 239 00:08:10,777 --> 00:08:12,409 Okay, there's something you don't know. 240 00:08:12,434 --> 00:08:14,668 She used to be your babysitter, and you had the hots for her. 241 00:08:14,693 --> 00:08:15,959 How? 242 00:08:15,984 --> 00:08:17,246 What is the plan, honey? 243 00:08:17,271 --> 00:08:18,613 Are you just gonna avoid them? 244 00:08:18,638 --> 00:08:20,832 I just need a minute to get comfortable with this, okay? 245 00:08:20,857 --> 00:08:23,590 I mean, did he always have a crush on her, 246 00:08:23,606 --> 00:08:25,449 even when my mom was around? 247 00:08:26,128 --> 00:08:27,994 It's one thing for a 13-year-old 248 00:08:28,019 --> 00:08:30,348 to position his babysitter in front of an open refrigerator 249 00:08:30,373 --> 00:08:33,041 so that he can enjoy the backlit contours of her beautiful body 250 00:08:33,066 --> 00:08:34,847 in the silk blouse he stole from Randall's mother. 251 00:08:34,872 --> 00:08:37,340 But if he was doing the same thing? 252 00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,293 Uh, moving past your decision 253 00:08:39,318 --> 00:08:41,853 to steal trophy clothing from Randall's mom, 254 00:08:41,878 --> 00:08:43,707 maybe you could just talk to your dad. 255 00:08:44,645 --> 00:08:46,533 You know we don't talk in my family. 256 00:08:46,558 --> 00:08:48,340 We riff. We do bits. 257 00:08:48,365 --> 00:08:50,152 You know how my dad told me my grandmother died? 258 00:08:50,177 --> 00:08:51,426 In a knock-knock joke. 259 00:08:51,451 --> 00:08:53,785 That is last year's Phil talking. 260 00:08:53,854 --> 00:08:56,402 In the spirit of living more dangerously, 261 00:08:56,427 --> 00:08:57,980 why don't you take an emotional risk 262 00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:01,258 and... and try and have an honest conversation with your father? 263 00:09:01,327 --> 00:09:04,879 Also, well, I may not be wearing... 264 00:09:04,904 --> 00:09:07,082 Randall's mothers blouse, 265 00:09:07,107 --> 00:09:09,137 but I thought maybe you'd like... 266 00:09:09,726 --> 00:09:11,026 And he's gone. 267 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,910 Uh, da... how am I saying it wrong? 268 00:09:12,926 --> 00:09:15,026 - His name is Keith. - No. 269 00:09:15,095 --> 00:09:16,194 Keef? 270 00:09:16,219 --> 00:09:17,885 It couldn't be simpler. 271 00:09:17,910 --> 00:09:20,944 K-E-I-F-T-H. Keifth. 272 00:09:20,969 --> 00:09:22,769 Fth. Fth. 273 00:09:22,794 --> 00:09:24,848 A remarkable name for a remarkable man. 274 00:09:24,873 --> 00:09:27,473 Isn't ringmaster basically a ceremonial position? 275 00:09:27,498 --> 00:09:28,504 Uh, wow. 276 00:09:28,529 --> 00:09:29,916 I would love to live in your fantasy world 277 00:09:29,941 --> 00:09:31,385 where circuses run themselves. 278 00:09:31,410 --> 00:09:33,151 [chuckling] Okay. Call and cancel. 279 00:09:33,176 --> 00:09:34,355 Then who's gonna save your dinner? 280 00:09:34,380 --> 00:09:37,576 Besides, we don't even know if the concierge is actually Keifth. 281 00:09:37,645 --> 00:09:39,424 I'm gonna forget the velvety baritone 282 00:09:39,449 --> 00:09:41,471 that abandoned me in the middle of the night? 283 00:09:41,496 --> 00:09:43,049 And plus, he walks in here, I lose it, 284 00:09:43,074 --> 00:09:44,549 I don't want Lily to see that. 285 00:09:44,574 --> 00:09:45,588 Oh, she's not here. 286 00:09:45,613 --> 00:09:47,627 She has that sleepover, and she already leffffth. 287 00:09:47,652 --> 00:09:49,154 Without saying goodbye? 288 00:09:49,179 --> 00:09:50,211 Then it hit me. 289 00:09:50,236 --> 00:09:51,637 It could be therapeutic for Cam 290 00:09:51,662 --> 00:09:54,796 to see this ridiculously named circus person who deserted him 291 00:09:54,821 --> 00:09:57,394 because that incident could be the very root 292 00:09:57,419 --> 00:09:59,754 of his pretty intense abandonment issues... 293 00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,299 which are not unchallenging. 294 00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,637 [inhales deeply] Mm. 295 00:10:04,185 --> 00:10:06,254 - Where are you going? - To the bathroom. 296 00:10:06,781 --> 00:10:09,144 Well, have a nice life. 297 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,800 What about Phil and Claire to take care of Joe? 298 00:10:11,867 --> 00:10:14,368 I don't know. Isn't Phil kind of silly? 299 00:10:14,437 --> 00:10:17,304 What are you talking about? Phil is a great father. 300 00:10:17,372 --> 00:10:18,505 He's kind. 301 00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:19,877 He's fun. 302 00:10:19,902 --> 00:10:21,348 Even Lily likes him. 303 00:10:21,373 --> 00:10:22,638 But is he too likeable? 304 00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:23,829 Where's the gravitas? 305 00:10:23,854 --> 00:10:25,453 He's full of energy. 306 00:10:25,478 --> 00:10:26,887 He's sensitive, 307 00:10:26,912 --> 00:10:29,207 and he never, ever gets grumpy. 308 00:10:29,232 --> 00:10:31,732 Fine. Why don't you give Joe to Super Dad right now, then? 309 00:10:31,778 --> 00:10:34,044 Oh, my God, are you really jealous 310 00:10:34,069 --> 00:10:36,754 because Phil might be a better father than you? 311 00:10:36,779 --> 00:10:38,058 I know it's stupid. 312 00:10:38,286 --> 00:10:40,620 Not to mention the fact that Joe gets Claire in the deal. 313 00:10:40,688 --> 00:10:42,385 She's a fantastic mother. 314 00:10:42,410 --> 00:10:44,724 Runs a company, hell of a role model. 315 00:10:44,793 --> 00:10:46,559 He could never do better than that for a mother. 316 00:10:46,628 --> 00:10:48,527 You know what, Phil and Claire have already raised their kids. 317 00:10:48,552 --> 00:10:50,293 I think it's time for them to travel. 318 00:10:51,432 --> 00:10:52,496 There. 319 00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:54,920 That's where my disappear bag was hanging! 320 00:10:54,945 --> 00:10:57,346 ['90s rock music playing] 321 00:10:57,371 --> 00:10:59,808 You have, like, a hundred missed calls from Gloria. 322 00:11:00,519 --> 00:11:01,707 [ringing] 323 00:11:01,732 --> 00:11:03,535 GLORIA: You have to come back right now. 324 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:05,012 Is everything okay? 325 00:11:05,995 --> 00:11:07,254 What? 326 00:11:09,949 --> 00:11:11,363 There must be a bus stop nearby. 327 00:11:11,388 --> 00:11:12,746 Until then, just act normal 328 00:11:12,771 --> 00:11:14,838 like we don't have [whispering] $40,000 on us. 329 00:11:14,863 --> 00:11:16,410 Okay, why are you whispering only part of a sentence? 330 00:11:16,435 --> 00:11:18,355 - That's going to attract attention. - [normal voice] Really? 331 00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:19,479 More than you being covered in sweat? 332 00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:21,036 Because you look like a sauna wall. 333 00:11:21,061 --> 00:11:22,848 You're right. How do I make myself stop sweating? 334 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:24,311 [crying] I don't know! 335 00:11:24,336 --> 00:11:25,887 Oh, don't cry. Crying's worse than sweating. 336 00:11:25,912 --> 00:11:28,012 [crying] Oh look, now I'm crying too! 337 00:11:28,037 --> 00:11:30,496 Maybe we can smile our way out of this. 338 00:11:30,521 --> 00:11:32,160 [both sobbing] 339 00:11:32,185 --> 00:11:33,527 - [door opens] - CLAIRE: Phil? 340 00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:34,871 - Yeah? - Honey, come quick! 341 00:11:34,896 --> 00:11:37,254 - Your dad passed out in the RV. - Oh, my God! 342 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:39,309 [blow dryer whirring] 343 00:11:39,334 --> 00:11:40,496 Dad, are you okay? 344 00:11:40,521 --> 00:11:43,535 Yeah, Claire just accidentally sprayed me with a garden hose. 345 00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:44,592 Really? 346 00:11:44,617 --> 00:11:46,582 - Oh, Claire? - CLAIRE: Sorry, stuck... 347 00:11:46,607 --> 00:11:48,992 like many father-son relationships. 348 00:11:51,242 --> 00:11:54,476 So, uh, place looks great. 349 00:11:54,501 --> 00:11:57,218 Yeah, Lorraine really spruced it up. Curtains, 350 00:11:57,243 --> 00:11:59,077 brass safety rails over the privy. 351 00:11:59,102 --> 00:12:00,413 That was really a lifesaver. 352 00:12:00,438 --> 00:12:02,271 She stopped short on the I-90 once. 353 00:12:02,296 --> 00:12:04,864 I came rolling out of there like a Chinese acrobat. 354 00:12:04,889 --> 00:12:05,954 [both laugh] 355 00:12:05,979 --> 00:12:07,757 Well, Lorraine seems good. 356 00:12:08,450 --> 00:12:12,484 Hey, so Phil, uh, you seem a little off today. 357 00:12:12,509 --> 00:12:16,343 Me and Lorraine... uh, that doesn't bother you, right? 358 00:12:16,733 --> 00:12:18,656 No. No. 359 00:12:19,273 --> 00:12:21,163 Good. It's the craziest thing. 360 00:12:21,188 --> 00:12:23,538 She re-introduced herself and, uh... 361 00:12:23,563 --> 00:12:25,851 I didn't even remember she was our babysitter. 362 00:12:25,876 --> 00:12:27,210 - Really? - Yeah. 363 00:12:27,235 --> 00:12:28,281 Then she asked me out, 364 00:12:28,306 --> 00:12:29,609 and you know, I don't get a lot of offers, 365 00:12:29,634 --> 00:12:31,702 so I thought, "What the heck?" [chuckles] 366 00:12:31,727 --> 00:12:33,085 Sure. That's what I figured. 367 00:12:33,110 --> 00:12:35,406 But, uh, I'm just glad you're having fun. 368 00:12:35,431 --> 00:12:36,898 Well, I better go fill this thing up 369 00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:39,648 - with some of Jay's expensive Scotch. - [chuckles] 370 00:12:39,673 --> 00:12:41,643 Oh, actually, I think the door's locked. 371 00:12:41,668 --> 00:12:43,101 Oh, no, it's fine. 372 00:12:43,169 --> 00:12:46,412 Well, Frank, I'm really sorry about that hose thing. 373 00:12:46,437 --> 00:12:48,171 Oh, no hard feelings. 374 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:49,907 Shirt needed freshening anyway. 375 00:12:49,976 --> 00:12:53,399 I haven't washed it since we stopped to take pictures at Smokey-Top, 376 00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:56,924 Utah's longest, continuously burning tire fire. 377 00:12:56,949 --> 00:12:58,813 [chuckles] 378 00:12:59,318 --> 00:13:02,319 As I guess you heard, I had no reason to be worried. 379 00:13:02,387 --> 00:13:04,520 He didn't even notice when Lorraine was my babysitter. 380 00:13:04,589 --> 00:13:06,188 Plus, they're not even that serious. 381 00:13:06,213 --> 00:13:07,713 I felt a ring box in his pocket. 382 00:13:07,826 --> 00:13:09,099 What? No way. 383 00:13:09,124 --> 00:13:11,429 Yep. There's only one thing shaped like that. 384 00:13:11,454 --> 00:13:13,607 No, there isn't. There's a million things... 385 00:13:13,632 --> 00:13:15,468 Rubik's Cube, sewing kit, 386 00:13:15,601 --> 00:13:17,390 souvenir tire keychain from Smokey-Top. 387 00:13:17,468 --> 00:13:19,401 I can't think of anything that's not shaped like that. 388 00:13:19,470 --> 00:13:20,930 Let's assume for a moment that I am right 389 00:13:20,954 --> 00:13:22,470 and that was a ring box. 390 00:13:22,539 --> 00:13:24,906 Maybe it's worth exploring why the idea of your dad remarrying 391 00:13:24,931 --> 00:13:26,064 is setting you off like this. 392 00:13:26,089 --> 00:13:29,410 Maybe it's worth exploring why you find so much joy in tearing people down. 393 00:13:29,471 --> 00:13:30,593 In previous generations, 394 00:13:30,618 --> 00:13:32,085 they accused people like that of being witches 395 00:13:32,110 --> 00:13:33,827 and threw water at them to see if they screamed. 396 00:13:33,852 --> 00:13:34,851 Great. 397 00:13:34,876 --> 00:13:35,942 Aah! 398 00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,513 - Witch. - [hose nozzle clacks] 399 00:13:39,723 --> 00:13:40,979 Ah, Mr. Pritchett I presume. 400 00:13:41,004 --> 00:13:42,804 Hi. Thank you so much for coming. 401 00:13:42,873 --> 00:13:44,405 I'm not sure I caught your name. 402 00:13:44,481 --> 00:13:45,680 - Keifth Banks. - Yes. 403 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:46,832 - At your... - [bells jingle] 404 00:13:46,857 --> 00:13:49,934 Mitchell, sorry to interrupt. I didn't know you were with a common worker. 405 00:13:50,137 --> 00:13:51,520 Can it be? 406 00:13:51,545 --> 00:13:52,644 Hmm? 407 00:13:52,669 --> 00:13:54,268 Cameron Tucker. 408 00:13:54,629 --> 00:13:56,598 Yes. I'm sorry. You are...? 409 00:13:56,623 --> 00:13:57,789 Keifth. 410 00:13:57,814 --> 00:13:59,215 Keifth. I-I don't believe I know... 411 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,371 No, C-Cam, didn't you tell me 412 00:14:01,396 --> 00:14:03,696 you once dated someone named Keifth? 413 00:14:03,721 --> 00:14:06,455 Oh, yes. Keifth. 414 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:07,660 What was it you did again? 415 00:14:07,685 --> 00:14:10,481 I remember you wore white gloves and... and gestured a lot. 416 00:14:10,506 --> 00:14:11,550 Subway mime? 417 00:14:11,575 --> 00:14:14,246 I commanded a circus. 418 00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:15,954 Yes. Now I remember. 419 00:14:15,979 --> 00:14:17,024 How have you been? 420 00:14:17,049 --> 00:14:18,430 I see you're in pig delivery now? 421 00:14:18,455 --> 00:14:19,888 I'm a concierge. 422 00:14:19,913 --> 00:14:22,513 The circus business has gotten rather difficult. 423 00:14:22,538 --> 00:14:23,938 People today, they don't have the patience 424 00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:26,259 for the more elegant pleasures of yesteryear... 425 00:14:26,284 --> 00:14:28,633 men putting their heads into lion's mouths, 426 00:14:28,658 --> 00:14:30,825 unfortunate little people being shot from cannons. 427 00:14:30,893 --> 00:14:33,360 I can't believe you... you're meeting up again like this. 428 00:14:33,428 --> 00:14:35,195 You must have so much to catch up on 429 00:14:35,263 --> 00:14:36,897 or... or... or work through. 430 00:14:36,957 --> 00:14:38,727 Oh, well, I'm sure Keifth would rather 431 00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:41,384 just make the delivery and disappear. 432 00:14:41,409 --> 00:14:42,503 Start there. 433 00:14:42,571 --> 00:14:44,470 - To the matter at hand. - [trunk opens] 434 00:14:44,495 --> 00:14:46,261 The swap will be difficult. 435 00:14:46,533 --> 00:14:49,167 Fortunately, I have had a bit of experience with misdirects... 436 00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:52,290 just tell the audience to keep your eyes on the center ring! 437 00:14:52,477 --> 00:14:54,376 They won't even notice the trapeze act suffering 438 00:14:54,401 --> 00:14:56,610 through the more vivid stages of food poisoning. 439 00:14:56,635 --> 00:14:58,313 - That happened. I was there. - Oh. 440 00:14:58,338 --> 00:15:02,876 First, I will release a live peacock... 441 00:15:02,993 --> 00:15:05,894 an exotic beauty of the Orient... into the yard. 442 00:15:05,919 --> 00:15:07,095 Magical. 443 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:10,830 Then, I will need something to lure him inside 444 00:15:10,855 --> 00:15:12,387 to draw the family's attention. 445 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,524 Do you happen to have any Andalusian filberts? 446 00:15:14,549 --> 00:15:15,548 No. 447 00:15:15,573 --> 00:15:16,772 Then Cheez-Its will do. 448 00:15:16,868 --> 00:15:18,321 Naturally, everyone will be transfixed. 449 00:15:18,346 --> 00:15:20,746 And while they're distracted, we will swap out the pigs, 450 00:15:20,771 --> 00:15:23,939 the dinner will be saved, and the show will go on. 451 00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:26,134 Just let me sneak a peek at the backyard. 452 00:15:27,819 --> 00:15:29,587 Goodbye. 453 00:15:29,844 --> 00:15:31,310 Hey, Joe, 454 00:15:31,335 --> 00:15:35,069 what has two heads, four legs, and can fly? 455 00:15:35,094 --> 00:15:36,526 I don't know. 456 00:15:36,551 --> 00:15:38,418 Us. Aah! 457 00:15:38,443 --> 00:15:39,877 This is dangerous! 458 00:15:39,902 --> 00:15:41,936 That's how you know we're alive! 459 00:15:41,961 --> 00:15:43,532 It's like I said in my wedding toast... 460 00:15:43,557 --> 00:15:45,180 that bride of yours is fearless. 461 00:15:45,205 --> 00:15:46,501 Yeah. 462 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,587 Funny thing is, we went to an amusement park earlier today 463 00:15:49,612 --> 00:15:52,720 and she was too scared to get on this one ride. 464 00:15:53,033 --> 00:15:55,266 Or she pretended to be 465 00:15:55,291 --> 00:15:57,926 so that I wouldn't have to admit how scared I was. 466 00:15:58,994 --> 00:16:00,696 I have a hunch that she's not the only one 467 00:16:00,721 --> 00:16:02,922 who's trying to protect my feelings today. 468 00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,696 You seem to be rambling, son. 469 00:16:06,962 --> 00:16:08,355 When you hugged Claire earlier, 470 00:16:08,423 --> 00:16:10,357 she felt a ring box in your pocket. 471 00:16:10,425 --> 00:16:12,563 What? That wasn't a ring box. 472 00:16:12,588 --> 00:16:15,389 It was... Where am I? I'm so old and confused. 473 00:16:15,414 --> 00:16:16,746 Stop. 474 00:16:16,771 --> 00:16:18,204 I'm not gonna say seeing you with Lorraine 475 00:16:18,229 --> 00:16:19,427 wasn't a little bit weird for me. 476 00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:21,430 It was a crazy idea. 477 00:16:21,455 --> 00:16:22,477 That's not what I'm trying to say. 478 00:16:22,502 --> 00:16:24,016 That pig's got to be ready, doesn't it? 479 00:16:24,041 --> 00:16:25,139 Dad, please. 480 00:16:25,164 --> 00:16:27,599 Son, can we please not do this? 481 00:16:27,866 --> 00:16:29,212 Fine. 482 00:16:29,516 --> 00:16:31,704 - Knock, knock. - That's more like it. 483 00:16:31,737 --> 00:16:32,903 Who's there? 484 00:16:32,928 --> 00:16:34,509 - Your son. - Your son, who? 485 00:16:34,534 --> 00:16:36,952 Your son who'd hate to think you threw away a shot at happiness 486 00:16:36,977 --> 00:16:38,558 just to protect his feelings. 487 00:16:40,516 --> 00:16:41,531 [door closes] 488 00:16:41,563 --> 00:16:43,148 Here it is. All here. Just take it from me. 489 00:16:43,173 --> 00:16:44,227 That's the most stress I've ever felt, 490 00:16:44,252 --> 00:16:45,266 and I spent two weeks underground 491 00:16:45,291 --> 00:16:46,610 as part of an isolation study. 492 00:16:46,635 --> 00:16:49,202 Okay. So, I guess now we can finish this. 493 00:16:49,227 --> 00:16:51,491 Ay, Mitch. Mitch, come. Help us finish. 494 00:16:51,516 --> 00:16:54,179 Okay. Okay. We got to lightning round these forms. 495 00:16:54,204 --> 00:16:55,843 You guys are overthinking this. 496 00:16:55,868 --> 00:16:57,085 Everybody knows in their heart what they want. 497 00:16:57,154 --> 00:16:59,120 They just feel bad about making the decision. 498 00:16:59,188 --> 00:17:01,599 So, who will be the executor of your estate? Go. 499 00:17:01,624 --> 00:17:03,110 - You. - Aww. Okay. 500 00:17:03,135 --> 00:17:05,392 Um, do you want to leave anything to charity? 501 00:17:05,461 --> 00:17:09,429 Yes. 10% to whatever is sexy at the time we die... 502 00:17:09,498 --> 00:17:11,626 like, um, orphans or whatever. 503 00:17:11,651 --> 00:17:13,071 Okay, okay, yeah. And what about Stella? 504 00:17:13,096 --> 00:17:14,134 Same as Manny. 505 00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:16,141 No, he's asking who's gonna take care of her, 506 00:17:16,166 --> 00:17:19,048 not how much money you're gonna leave to a murderer. 507 00:17:19,073 --> 00:17:20,016 No proof of that. 508 00:17:20,041 --> 00:17:21,180 Okay, this seems like a whole sidebar, 509 00:17:21,205 --> 00:17:22,571 so we're gonna circle back to that. 510 00:17:22,596 --> 00:17:24,954 Um, who do you want as Joe's legal guardian? 511 00:17:25,321 --> 00:17:26,884 No, no, don't think. Just answer, okay? 512 00:17:26,909 --> 00:17:28,423 If something happens to both of you, 513 00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:30,134 who do you want to take care of Joe? 514 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,624 MANNY: Me, obviously. 515 00:17:32,649 --> 00:17:35,234 Ay, Manny, you're too young. 516 00:17:35,259 --> 00:17:37,827 Besides, you're about to start your new life soon. 517 00:17:37,852 --> 00:17:40,148 Yeah, you should be out sowing your oats or just sewing. 518 00:17:40,173 --> 00:17:41,585 - That's something you like. - [scoffs] 519 00:17:41,610 --> 00:17:43,009 I don't see what the big deal is. 520 00:17:43,034 --> 00:17:46,264 I'd hire a nanny, sell the house, downsize to a condo. 521 00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:48,699 I'm thinking maybe a loft in an up-and-coming arts district. 522 00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:51,040 Sure, it'll take me a bit longer to finish college, 523 00:17:51,065 --> 00:17:53,580 but aren't those the best years of life, anyway? 524 00:17:53,605 --> 00:17:55,477 The main thing is, he's my brother. 525 00:17:55,502 --> 00:17:57,135 I'm not letting anybody else raise him. 526 00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:00,173 Ay, Manny. You're so sweet. 527 00:18:00,198 --> 00:18:01,399 Am I the only one unsettled 528 00:18:01,424 --> 00:18:03,355 by how much he's thought about that already? 529 00:18:03,380 --> 00:18:05,243 [indistinct conversations] 530 00:18:05,805 --> 00:18:07,102 [peacock caws] 531 00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:09,204 - Oh, my God! Look! - What? 532 00:18:09,229 --> 00:18:12,230 Cast your spell, nature's kaleidoscope! 533 00:18:12,255 --> 00:18:14,212 Why is there a blue turkey going into the house? 534 00:18:14,237 --> 00:18:15,352 It's a peacock. 535 00:18:15,377 --> 00:18:17,751 It's really plowing through the Cheez-Its. 536 00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:20,102 Oh, we forgot to put the apple the new pig's mouth. 537 00:18:20,127 --> 00:18:21,527 Oh, just leave it. 538 00:18:21,899 --> 00:18:23,930 Now that's your answer to everything, isn't it? 539 00:18:23,955 --> 00:18:25,462 I deserve that. 540 00:18:25,759 --> 00:18:27,287 I was a fool to think I could get through this 541 00:18:27,312 --> 00:18:28,811 without you bringing up the way I left. 542 00:18:28,836 --> 00:18:30,368 Well, you broke my heart. 543 00:18:30,393 --> 00:18:32,290 I didn't mean to hurt you, Cameron. 544 00:18:32,642 --> 00:18:33,923 I just had to protect myself. 545 00:18:33,948 --> 00:18:35,329 When we first met, you were just... 546 00:18:35,354 --> 00:18:38,021 pure, raw potential. 547 00:18:38,393 --> 00:18:40,927 Your Missouri twang. [chuckles] 548 00:18:41,236 --> 00:18:43,165 The innocent way your shirt cuffs 549 00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:44,915 were no different than your sleeves. 550 00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:47,173 Once you emerged from your country cocoon, 551 00:18:47,198 --> 00:18:48,665 I knew it was just a matter of time 552 00:18:48,690 --> 00:18:51,525 before you realized you could do better and moved on. 553 00:18:51,618 --> 00:18:53,618 But you never even said goodbye. 554 00:18:53,687 --> 00:18:55,619 For all these years, I-I thought it was my fault. 555 00:18:55,688 --> 00:18:57,220 Oh, no. 556 00:18:57,289 --> 00:18:58,622 No. 557 00:19:00,326 --> 00:19:01,899 I was a coward. 558 00:19:02,258 --> 00:19:06,165 I just ran away to join another circus. 559 00:19:07,903 --> 00:19:09,243 I suppose you could say the... 560 00:19:09,268 --> 00:19:11,696 the one ring you never mastered was the ring of life. 561 00:19:11,721 --> 00:19:13,930 Well, that's kind of mean, but sure. 562 00:19:13,955 --> 00:19:16,398 - And look at your beautiful home. - Oh, it's... 563 00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:18,368 You've blossomed into the success I always knew you'd be. 564 00:19:18,393 --> 00:19:19,680 Correct. 565 00:19:21,246 --> 00:19:23,610 I did so enjoy our time together, Cameron. 566 00:19:24,519 --> 00:19:26,509 Remember that split week between Lansing and Kalamazoo? 567 00:19:26,534 --> 00:19:27,852 Oh, my gosh, how could I forget? 568 00:19:27,877 --> 00:19:30,680 The rain dripping on the canvas. 569 00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:33,274 Me sneaking into your wagon after curfew. 570 00:19:33,299 --> 00:19:35,454 I believe that was the first time you saw me... 571 00:19:35,479 --> 00:19:37,360 without my top hat. 572 00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:38,384 Okay. 573 00:19:38,409 --> 00:19:39,572 Well, wounds healed, 574 00:19:39,597 --> 00:19:41,588 whole new perspective, off you go. 575 00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:45,440 Goodbye, Cameron. 576 00:19:45,465 --> 00:19:46,807 Goodbye, Keifth. 577 00:19:49,734 --> 00:19:51,517 Oh, hey, honey. 578 00:19:51,542 --> 00:19:52,931 - FRANK: I, uh... - Whatcha doing? 579 00:19:53,470 --> 00:19:56,416 Oh, I think it's cute how scared he is. 580 00:19:56,441 --> 00:19:58,166 Yeah, but he's doing it. 581 00:19:58,191 --> 00:19:59,462 Yes. 582 00:19:59,487 --> 00:20:02,869 There's one Dunphy who's not afraid to live dangerously. 583 00:20:02,894 --> 00:20:04,233 Oh. 584 00:20:05,016 --> 00:20:06,494 Hey, Claire? 585 00:20:07,923 --> 00:20:10,089 They're open for two more hours. 586 00:20:10,707 --> 00:20:13,671 - [laughs] - Everything's gonna be okay. 587 00:20:13,696 --> 00:20:15,257 - Whoo! - Whoo! 588 00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:16,757 2017! 589 00:20:16,801 --> 00:20:19,350 It's gonna be a great yea... 590 00:20:23,084 --> 00:20:24,531 Phil? 591 00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:25,756 Oh. 592 00:20:26,959 --> 00:20:29,482 Cam, this is so delicious. 593 00:20:29,498 --> 00:20:30,583 Well, you know, after Thanksgiving, 594 00:20:30,608 --> 00:20:32,542 I'm just happy nothing went wrong. 595 00:20:32,567 --> 00:20:33,700 I love this seasoning. 596 00:20:33,768 --> 00:20:35,501 What gives it that nutty taste? 597 00:20:35,570 --> 00:20:36,837 It might be nuts, sweetheart. 598 00:20:36,905 --> 00:20:38,205 Oh, no, he wouldn't put nuts in it. 599 00:20:38,273 --> 00:20:39,786 He knows I'm allergic. 600 00:20:40,809 --> 00:20:41,975 Excuse me. 601 00:20:42,044 --> 00:20:43,143 - Hi. - [door closes] 602 00:20:43,212 --> 00:20:44,211 HALEY: Hey, how was the ride? 603 00:20:44,279 --> 00:20:45,812 Amazing. Phil fainted. 604 00:20:45,881 --> 00:20:47,700 - PHIL: Claire. - Oh, come on, they were gonna find out. 605 00:20:47,725 --> 00:20:49,388 I'm not spending $15 on this picture 606 00:20:49,413 --> 00:20:51,683 and not show it to everyone. 607 00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:54,030 I'm just gonna need you to spit into this napkin. 608 00:20:54,055 --> 00:20:56,070 - EpiPen is on the way. - Just keep the card. 609 00:20:56,095 --> 00:20:58,453 - [Haley laughs] - CLAIRE: Isn't that amazing?